| Sep. 27th, 2006 @ 09:08 pm ok... here it is... |
|---|
Current Location: home
Current Mood:  aggravated
Current Music: one love - bob marley
alright... so... ok... weird...
i'm dealing with a crazy situtation at the moment... i'm kinda stressed... i'm having surgery on monday... i mean, i'm just getting my tonsils out, but the thing is i have no idea how long i'm gonna be out from that... like, it could be a week... it could be a month... which sucks hardcore... so yeah... i'm a little nervous... work is stressful like WHOA... school is not really stressful but it makes me feel really busy... sooo yeah... ugh... what bullshit..
i'm not going to take this moment to apologize to someone.. i'm not sure if he's gonna read this... but i think he will so i'm going for it...
i don't know really what to say... i don't know what i come off as to you... or what kind of impression i've made on you... but i'm really thankful for you helping me out and being so nice to me and all that and being my friend since i haven't really made any friends at school... but the fact is, i love mark with all of my heart... i really do... and i don't want to jeopardize what i have with him... so i'm sorry if i gave you the wrong impression... well, there's really no "if's" about it, i KNOW i did.. so i'm sorry... but nothing's going to happen with us... and i hope that doesn't make you not want to talk to me anymore... cuz i wanna be friends... so yeah... sorry josh
now, i need to take his time to vent... cuz this really pisses me off.. i'm sick of my family talking about me... how come they only care about me when they haven't talked to me??? like, they don't know ANYTHING about what's been going on yet they can all act scared or worried for me... that really actually pisses me off... like, there's nothing to worry about... i'm not stupid... i know how i take care of myself.. yeah, maybe it's weird to them that i haven't been talking to them about a lot of things, but that's basically because i haven't had the time... and there isn't anything really that important to talk about... like, seriously... get over it... you're not going to know everything that goes on in my life... and there's going to be things that i do that you don't understand... and there's going to be times when you have no clue why i'm doing what i'm doing... but unless i'm putting my or someone else's life in danger, back the fuck off and just let me do me... honestly... ugh... drives me batshit... like, i really wish that they would realize how much better off i am RIGHT NOW than i was two months ago... how before i was headed for something crazy... and now i'm better... i'm myself again... i'm done being psycho...yay for me!! i mean, i'm happy for me... i'm ECSTATIC for me... i'm glad to see myself back to my old self again... so stop acting like i'm heading for disaster... just be glad that i'm fucking smiling again... i haven't done that in so long... you'd figure they'd be happy too... but no... instead they just wonder what crazy ass move i'm going to make...
well, i suppose that ends this for now.. oy vey... things are so NUTS!!! >. |
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