~~welcome to the BK LOUNGE~~

*~B.A.M.F.~* badassmotherfuckers


whose foot is that?? paddington bear you randy bastard...
xrhipeacex
Wow... livejournal.. it's been awhile...

things are different now... i don't really have much to say but i felt the need to write SOMETHING since this is the first time in a few good years I've even remotely thought about writing in here... anyways, life is good. and that's basically sums it up. despite all the bullshit that's been going down lately, i'm incredibly happy. i have the best guy in the whole damn world by my side. and i have the best friends and family in the world too... it's awesome. there's just a few more bugs to work out and i'll be totally golden.

it's amazing how things get clearer once who change one little thing in your life. ya know, i spent a lot of time being unhappy... i was unhappy a lot in high school. i loved it - it was one of the best times of my life. and i miss it sometimes. but towards the end i just got so scared that everything that i knew and held dear was being taken away from me that i was in a panic and i let it take over my life and i became a shell of the person i once was. i did a lot of stupid things to try and cover up my unhappiness and tried to fill the void with things and people that i shouldn't have. well today i'm proud to say that that part of my life is over. i've actually started listening to my own advice as well as the advice of those that care about me and i'm on the right track. i truly do have myself back again. i smile constantly... i'm laughing again at nothing (ok, that made me sounds crazy but you should know what i mean)... i can't really describe exactly how amazing i really feel. i'm whole again. i'm not shattered anymore. and it's incredible.

i'm so looking forward to my life getting back to the way it was supposed to be. i'm not saying that i actually regret anything - to a point, yes... there's plenty of shit that i regret. but the fact is, everything happens for a reason and everything comes full circle. i can't say that i totally regret the relationship that i was in because if it had never happened, i never would have dropped out of school and then never gotten the job at giant and then never been miserable enough in my job to have to go to flying j and therefore never would have met scott... i mean, i should have graduated this month. and i didn't... if i had, who knows who i'd be with... but it probably wouldn't be him because we probably never would have crossed paths. so in a weird fucked up kind of way, i have to thank mark for all those things i said ruined my life because it brought me to the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. yippee...

i'm all about positivity again... i'm not wasting my time on negative thoughts and negative people. it takes too much energy to be mad at someone. it drains you having all that hate and negative emotion locked up inside. so i'm doing it anymore. i'm me and i'm happy and if you want to be a part of my life, no matter who you are, i welcome you as long as you don't bring any negative vibe merchants with you *^_^* check your baggage at the door my friends because i won't have any of it.

i love my life... and i'm so glad to be able to say it again...

AJ

lalalalalala
xrhipeacex
BORED!!!!!!!!

it's almost halloween... yay... i love halloween... and the best part about it is that i don't have school that day because it's academic advising day!! woohoo!! so i get to go trick or treating... and that just rocks too hardcore. anywho, i can't really think of anything else interesting to write about because i am one boring motherfucker...

whatever...

love always,
amanda banana

holy fucking shit...
xrhipeacex
soooo yeah...
death sucks... and i'm not into going to funerals... especially when my throat is so goddamn sore that breathing normally hurts and i'm fucking gasping for air that im crying so hard... but whatever..
yeah.. i'm not really sure why i'm updating right now.. i have nothing interesting to say... i'm bored.. and i'm about to go watch the rest of the eagles game...
yes, i'm still an eagles fan.. no, i don't hide it... no, i DON'T like mcnabb... YES, i HATE t.o.... but i hated him when he was an eagle too... so yeah.. bite me!! *sticks out tongue* ow.. that hurts.. my tongues all swollen from the surgery.. ick...
ok.. bye bye now

(no subject)
xrhipeacex
ugh... life sucks a big one...

311!!
xrhipeacex
i get to see 311 tomorrow and i'm really excited about it... yay... i'm a loser... that's about it...

so yeah..

bye

yay
xrhipeacex
i'm so happy... this is exciting... i got a new job... it's awesome... i work at the deptford mall... so that's cool. i am now 18 and am graduating in 2 weeks... that's incredible to me.. i got a tattoo.. it's adorable... and today the most amazing thing happened.... I GOT TO PIE MY FAVORITE TEACHER... IN THE FUCKING FACE!!!! i got mr. mcmahon so good.. omg.. it was great.. i have pics.. soon to be posted.. lol... i just had to say it... hahahaha...

i don't understand it...
xrhipeacex
was my class skipped over? we're the first class in how many years to not have someone die... it's so weird. it's really scary to think about... and i've been thinking about it since september - who won't be here when we graduate???
RIP billy

(no subject)
xrhipeacex
i am so bored and i haven't updated in a while so here i am. i'm in ms jost's class. i'm supposed to be doing my report on virginia woolf. but i really don't feel like it. i decided where i'm going to college. it was a hard choice to make because i got accepted to every college i applied to. and i like all of them, otherwise i wouldn't have applied to them. so the choise was made over the weekend when i went to visit. for the next four years (at least) i will be attending...... *drum roll please*................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................SALEM STATE COLLEGE in SALEM, MASSACHUSETTS!!! yayyyy!!!! it's so pretty and so great... i'm so excited *^_^* and everyone has to come visit during october because they have a huge hallloween party. it's so great. it's made for me, i swear... so yeah... go me... i'm gonna go do something else now... bye

I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY!!
xrhipeacex
well... it's official... i am making something of my life...
1.) good job with good people... it's fun...
2.) i'm just happy with myself for the first time, um... ever...
MOST OF ALL...
3.) I GOT ACCEPTED INTO WILKES UNIVERSITY!! woohoo bitches!

there's tons of other reasons why... things are just great and have been for a while now...i don't understand it... i spend all of this time being pissed of and feeling like shit and now, someone's gotta be looking out for me... my life is getting in order...

maybe it's because they're out of my life for good now...
maybe it's because i've just decided not to let cheating whores bother me any more...
maybe it's because i know that many shitty people i know are going to fai miserably in their lives and i'm not because they were all assholes and slacked and didn't care about anything except themselves...
maybe it's because i'm letting one person be in the driver's seat...
maybe it's because i'm sleeping at night...

it doesn't matter why to me... all i know is that everything is peachy and stupid people aren't going to bother me anymore..

that's right... YOU DON'T MATTER TO ME ANYMORE... YOU DON'T EXIST... YOU DO NOT RUN MY LIFE ANYMORE!!!! how does that feel?

i think it feels pretty good...

this is for the fuckers...
xrhipeacex
i can't fucking believe it..i'm actually happy... i feel like shit's finally coming together for me... on the whole! reasons: 1) i love my job; 2)i'm almost done high school and can start my real life soon; 3)i've become way more in touch with my religion... and it feels incredible.. i feel like they're with me always; 4) i finally stopped taking on my friends' problems; 5) no drama with THE ex or her gf... it's like they don't exist to me and i like it that way - i burned everything she ever gave me and it's like she completely drifted away with the smoke; 6) i've closed the door on ALL of my bullshit past; 7)i have a new kitty; 8) my mom has stayed off of my back (for the most part); 9) i have the satisfaction of knowing that i know who i am and many others much older than me are still searching; 10) i'm on zoloft

i think that last one has helped a lot, but the first 9 happened before i was on it... i've taken control of my manic depression... and it makes me so happy... i feel alive again... and i've realized that i don't need a significant other to be happy... all i need is air in my lungs, my voice, the sun, the moon, and the rest of the beautiful world around me.

i've been waiting for this for so long... i hope this feeling never goes away!

?

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